52 Changes in 52 Weeks: Personal Development 101

52 Changes in 52 Weeks: Personal Development 101 | Main

Week 32 - See the smallest things

One change each week. This week: See the smallest things.

Georgia O'Keeffe said:

Nobody sees a flower, really, it is so small. We haven't time - and to see takes time - like to have a friend takes time.

These are powerful words.

For some time I have been increasing my consciousness of the details around me - the small things that we totally overlook as we scurry from here to there.

So this is not so much a sudden change for me. It is more of a rededication and a refocus on the often unseen world around me.

The opportunities are endless. Georgia O'Keeffe (famous for her paintings of flowers) talked about flowers. There are leaves, bugs, paintings, fabrics, children, buildings.

The point is to take one of these things, and then take the time to see it. Just sit and see it.

The wonders of the universe often are found in the smallest things, if only I will take the time to see them.

What about you?

Can you take the time to see - really see - one small thing? Sure you can. Try it. You'll like it.

Week 31 - See something good in everyone

One change each week. This week: See something good in everyone.

I really like the change I'm working on this week. Every time I see a person, I look carefully to see something good - something I like.

This is not the same as saying "Gee, everybody's really a good person."

It means that I consciously select one quite specific thing about the person that I like. Maybe it's a shirt or other article of clothing, the way they wear their hair, a smile, something they say, something they do.

The point is that it has to be one tangible and specific thing.

So what?

It changes the way I look at people. They become less abstract, and more real. I see each person more as a unique individual rather than just another nice person.

Sometimes I take it one step further, and tell the person what it is I like. This has amazing results. It's not sappy and insincere flattery. It is a heart-felt compliment. And because it is absolutely true, the person knows it is a sincere compliment.

Everybody feels better.

What about you?

Can you pause with each person you meet and identify one good thing that stands out? Sure you can. Try it. You'll like it.

Week 30 - My perfect day

One change each week. This week: My perfect day.

One good way for us to figure out what we want and where we're going is to sit down and write out what our perfect day looks like.

MY first brush with this idea came from Barbara Sher's book Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want. Her idea is simple, and I like simple ideas. Just write down what you will be doing in your perfect day. Use the present tense, as if that day had already arrived for you.

So here goes. My perfect day:

I get up at 6:30 and go on a short walk in the park with our gorgeous and mellow dog Polo. Upon returning, I give him breakfast and clean water. The hot water is ready for my first cup of coffee.

I open the computer and telecommute into my office. Anything needing immediate attention gets done, and everything else will wait. I scan through my news aggregator, looking especially for items dealing with employment law. I pick out some topics for blogging.

At 8:00 Polo and I drive 6-7 miles to a no-leash dog park, thoughtfully provided by the City. Here I join a small group of regular dog-walkers and we hike around the people path while the dogs have their fun. The topics of conversation involve dogs, family life, internal struggles. We avoid topics that involve the external world of politics, business, and war. It is a refreshing connection to real people of all stripes. (Half the time my wife does the dog walk, so I have discretionary time for sleeping in or whatever I want.)

Back home, I shower and get dressed. I dress well; nothing sloppy; usually casual slacks and French cuff shirt. I catch a small breakfast, some supplements, and do my stretching exercises. It's about 10:00 when I get my second cup of coffee.

I write. Almost all of my writing is for publication. I have five blogs connected to my business, plus this one. I also serve as an arbitrator, and that requires the writing of opinions. Now and then there is a poem (not for publication). The writing is "scheduled" for two hours. It can be shorter, and on many days it can be longer.

The noon hour is open for whatever random spur-of-the-moment thing I want to do. On some days this will be lunch with my favorite person in the whole world, who just happens to be the woman I married.

From 1:00 to 4:00 there is real work to be done. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday I attend to my law school class. On Tuesday and Thursday I attend to my business.

The end of the day depends upon whether I am on parent duty. If so, then I prepare an original and elegant supper, do the clean-up, and settle down with a good book. If I'm not on parent duty, I can hang around and chat with that woman I told you about, have an elegant supper that she prepared, and curl up with a good book. About once a week, there will be a good movie.

The exercise discussed by Barbara Sher is designed to get us to imagine our perfect day ... somewhere in the future. I can't wait that long. I've decided to start my perfect days today.

Week 29 - Pray for peace

One change each week. This week: Pray for peace.

All of my life there has been war going on somewhere.

As a child growing up in San Francisco during World War II, there was a fear that Japan would bomb the city. Every night my job was to pull down a set of special blackout curtains that kept the light inside the house from getting out. That way, the airplanes had a less visible target. Jeeps patrolled the city to make sure this was done. Relatives went off to this war.

I knew people who went off to the Korean War (euphemistically given the Orwellian term "police action"), and to the Viet Nam War (called a "conflict"), and did not come back, or came back carrying shrapnel in their bodies.

I have stood at the Viet Nam Memorial alone at dawn, weeping.

War seems to be a popular activity these days, and I am against it.

For me, my personal change is to pray for peace.

In my belief system this will not result in a sudden divine intervention. What it will do is make me a more peaceful person. It all starts here, with me. And with you. If we are all peaceful in our daily activities, at home, at work, everywhere, then there will be more peace in the world. If we all do it, there will be peace everywhere.

Join in. Pray for peace.

Week 22 - Write

One change each week. This week: Write.

OK, I'm having a birthday.

A good time to sit back and think about what I want to do when I grow up.

In the recent past, my work has involved three main things: running a small business, teaching law, and being an arbitrator. These are all highly satisfactory things. They are interesting, and they pay the bills.

More and more I have been moving in the direction of doing more writing. To a large extent, the writing has taken the form of blogs - 5 that have to do with labor and employment law, and this one, Personal Development 101.

As I look at my immediate future (about a six month range), I see writing being the main thing I do. The blogs provide an endless outlet for writing. Arbitrating requires a fair amount of writing. And then there is always the occasional poem and perhaps even a book.

The real point is that in order to spend more time writing, there is a need to cut back on something else. This will result in less time spent on my business. Thankfully, I have employees who can keep things going without any help from me.

So, the change for this week, and for the next half year: Write more.

Week 21 - Smile at everyone

One change each week. This week: Smile at everyone.

Have you ever wondered what you might have that would make the world a better place?

Have you wondered what you could give away and still keep?

A smile. A smile for everyone.

This week I will smile at every single person I see. People I actually meet, of course. Also people whose paths I cross on the sidewalk. People who work behind the counter at the store. People who are begging. People who are like me. People who are different from me. Everyone.

The magic of smiling is that it will not cost me anything, it will make some people feel better, and it surely will make me feel better.

This is an easy way to spread little bit of cheer into the world.

Week 20 - Weekly meetings

One change each week. This week: Weekly meetings.

It's been 21 years since I figured out I was an alcoholic and stopped drinking.

It wasn't easy. Without AA, it probably would not have happened.

In my early days of sobriety I went to meetings every day. Then, as time wore on, twice a week. Then weekly. And lately, there has been no regular pattern.

It is a dangerous thing for this alcoholic to go to meetings "only when I need to." That's because I'm always the last person to figure out that I need to.

The answer is quite simple: Weekly meetings.

The change for this week (and the following weeks) is to go to one meeting a week.

I already feel better.

Week 19 - Let angels guide me

One change each week. This week: Let angels guide me.

As the road trip to the Grand Canyon progressed, it became obvious that we didn't really know the best way to get there.

Yes, we knew the fastest way. That's easy. Stick to the Interstate.

We didn't know the best way.

We stopped in Crescent City, California. Went into the Post Office. The guy behind the counter was friendly man who was a motorcycle rider. (By the way, I like friendly guys and motorcycle riders; they often go together.)

He suggested a route that we had not even though of. On blind faith, we went exactly the way he suggested. We saw some of the most gorgeous scenery that this country has to offer.

Later, we were in a restaurant telling the waitress about where we planned to stop for the night. She was kind enough to set us straight by suggesting something else. We took her advice.

What's this got to do with angels?

My wife, who is wiser than I, began referring to these guides as angels.

We let these angels guide us.

Along the way, we found more angels that guided us to more great places and scenic routes.

So now I am more open to following the advice of others - other people that I really don't even know. They are the angels.

Week 18 - Road trip

One change each week. This week: Road trip.

The whole reason for spending all of last week on one big project (grading exams) was to prepare for a road trip.

One of my personal flaws is that I tend to spend every day doing some kind of work. It's either work that actually counts as work (that is, it makes money), or it's work such as paying bills, doing taxes, and stuff around the house.

It's often hard for me to just kick back and do nothing.

This week, I'm going on a road trip. It will be me, the love of my life (that is, my wife), and my almost-teen-age daughter.

To the Grand Canyon. That's about 1300 miles, one way, if you go straight to it. About 20 hours in the car, assuming no detours.

We'll be taking lots of detours. The first will be to plow through the redwood forests of southern Oregon and northern California. After that, who knows?

On this trip there will be no phones or faxes.

All play. A change I'm looking forward to.

Week 17 - One big project

One change each week. This week: Do one big project.

I recently talked about the fact that I've started doing work in one-hour batches - Week 12 - One hour projects. The one-hour project technique has been working well, even though I have to admit that I have not totally moved to that method. It's a work in progress, and I'm making progress.

This week is an example of the need to make a major (and temporary) shift.

The reason is simple. I have one huge project that I want to finish in one week. After that week is over, I'm going on a two-week road trip. There is no way that I want that project - or any part of it - waiting for me when I get back.

One of my occupations is that I am a part-time law teacher. I teach Contracts to first-year law students at Willamette University. They took their final examination last Friday. All 75 of them.

Grading final exams is the perfect candidate for spending full time working on a single project. One of the important goals in grading is to be consistent. I always worry that if I spread out the grading project over a few weeks, then there is a far greater likelihood of being inconsistent.

So, the plan is to work solely on grading exams for one week. (I say "solely," knowing that it is inevitable that there will be a few "must do" things that will pop up.) Wish me well. Wish my students well.

Week 16 - Let go of something

One change each week. This week: Let go of something.

One of the great lessons in life is to learn to become unattached.

Become unattached to people, places, and things. Unattached to outcomes.

The essential problem is that we humans get all bound up in situations that are not to our liking. Examples are not hard to find. We get attached to what the politicians are saying and doing (or not saying or not doing), certain irritating habits that our loved ones display, things that we have to do at work to keep the boss happy.

We don't like these things. We want these things (or people) to change. And then we get attached to them. We try our best to get these people and things to change.

Hoping or trying to get someone else to change is a huge waste of effort, and the source of a great deal of personal dissatisfaction.

Truth is, we can change ourselves, and we can't change anything or anybody else.

My example for this week is my daughter, who is 12, and who thoroughly enjoys pointing out how Daddy is wrong.

I've wasted a good deal of effort trying to get her to stop doing this.

The solution: I have to let go of it.

It's really so simple. I simply let go of the fact that my daughter likes to point out how wrong I am.

Immediately, two amazingly wonderful things happen: (1) She and I do not get tangled up in the "yes it is, no it isn't" battles. (2) The behavior that used to drive me nuts no longer does.

I let go. My life gets better. (Hers does too.)

What about you?

Can you find one thing in your life that is making you miserable, and just let go of it? Sure you can. Now, go out and do it.

Week 15- Re-examine priorities

One change each week. This week: Re-examine priorities.

It has been almost exactly 21 years since I first adopted a list of 5 priorities for my life, and actually put them into practice.

The need for priorities is obvious to me. Every day there are competing demands on my time. Rather than re-think everything, and re-invent the wheel, I have my list of priorities that determine what to do.

More important, there are times when there are serious clashes - when I truly want to do two things at the same time. For example, I want to attend my child's school performance, and I want to attend a business function. Without pre-determined priorities, these are extremely difficult decisions to make. In a life without priorities, a person is tempted to compromise - so neither decision gets fully and wholeheartedly implemented. Or the result is a frantic and gut-wrenching decision-making process that leaves one drained and dissatisfied.

With clear priorities, decisions are easy. Easy to make. Easy to explain to others.

(I'm not a slave to these priorities. I'm always wiling to make exceptions for exceptional circumstances.)

Here are the priorities - the new list (which looks a lot like the old list):

Sobriety. I haven't always been sober. The reason sobriety is number one is that I cannot do any of the other priorities if I'm drunk. I know a lot of people who put God in the number one slot. God understands that I cannot have any sensible kind of spirituality without sobriety.

God. I spent many years as an atheist. It didn't work well for me. These days I like to listen to God's will for me and pray for the strength to carry it out.

Taking care of myself. This is a tough one for me. I seem to have a drive to engage in business matters, and to help out others in my family. I remember what they say just before an airplane takes off: If the oxygen masks drop down, put on you own mask and then help others around you. In other words, I have to take care of myself before I'm able to much of a job doing anything else.

Taking care of my family. This is a change. Taking care of business used to be in this slot.

Taking care of business. There is plenty to take care of. Being self-employed, the amount of things to do is endless, and there is a risk that it will consume me. If I follow all the priorities, this won't happen

What about you?

Is it time to make a small list of big priorities? Do it now. You'll love yourself for it.

Week 14 - Add one pushup

One change each week. This week: Add one pushup.

I've been doing a pretty regular job of what I call exercise the past several weeks.

Apart from some good walking (usually with my dog who prefers to move at a faster pace than I do), I have a series of stretching exercises. These are designed to help my back, which tends to fail me if I don't keep up with the stretches. The stretches also help out in other areas of my body, and make me feel better all over.

It's now time to add to the list.

I'm not going to instantly start a whole array of new stuff. As you know, that's' not my style. My approach is to make gradual and incremental changes over longer periods of time.

The change this week is to add a pushup. What? One pushup? Yes, one pushup.

I have not done pushups for so long that starting over means starting at the bottom, and starting at the bottom means starting with one. As time goes by I can add more.

What about you?

Are you ready to add one thing to your exercise routine?
Can you pick one thing and get started today?
Are you willing to start small and build things up over a period of time?

Week 13 - Clean one place

One change each week. This week: Clean one place.

Let's face it. I'm not the tidiest cat in the world.

At home, I tend to put things down on one table and just let them sit. These are mostly papers of various kinds - printouts of things I intend to read, printouts of things I've already read and should have already deposited in the recycle bin, lists, books, work files. And there they sit, gathering dust and growing slowly larger.

Also at home, there is the closet. It is almost beyond comprehension that there are so many things in the closet that I actually do not wear. I rationalize that this item was given to me by my wife, and that item night actually come in handy some time, and this other item might be just the thing to wear "some day." The truth is that a huge amount of this stuff will never leave the closet on my body.

I have two offices. One at the law school, where I teach a first year contracts class. One at my business. These offices are piled up with papers that I have not been willing to just throw away.

The whole thing can be quite intimidating.

It also takes away from the physical serenity of my life.

I tell myself I must clean up all this stuff. I don't do it. There's too much stuff. I'll have to make too many decisions. And so on.

Here's the easy solution. I'll pick one place and clean it up. Or I'll pick one part of a place (such as the top shelf in the closet) and clean that up. There are always three piles: Keep, throw away, give away.

Ruthlessness is the best method for me. If I haven's used something recently (for papers, that's 2 weeks; for clothes, it's 3 months), and it's not something I must keep (an old tax return, for example), then I do not keep it. Throw it away or give it away.

Next: The table in the living room. Watch out. Get out of the way.

What about you?

Are there places that need to be cleaned up?
Can you pick just one of them?
Then start throwing away and giving away.

Week 12 - One hour projects

One change each week. This week: Develop a list of "one-hour projects."

The problem: I seem to have an endless capacity for wanting to "do" things.

Work things, such as sending hand written thank-you notes to my business' good customers, seeking out new customers, developing better management systems, dressing up the company's web site.

Play things, such as tuning up my motorcycle, doing some photography, dressing up some of the photos with my Photoshop program, doing some serious training with my English Setter..

Family things, such as planning my wife's birthday party, driving off to see my new granddaughter, catching a family movie, getting a beach place for a week or so for the summer.

House things, such as cleaning the toilets (yes, that's one of my jobs), getting some carpet replaced, and painting.

I've already written all these down, plus many many more. [See Week 10 - Empty the head; write it down.]

Remember, the brain (especially the subconscious brain) gives everything the same priority, and wants you to do all these things at the same time. As a result, I can spin my wheels endlessly trying to figure out what to do next. Then once I start on something, my brain is talking to me about all the others things I could and should be doing. Another problem is that I hesitate to even start on some projects because I know they will take a long time to complete.

The solution is simple. I'll take one item and spend one hour on it. Then another item, and another hour.

During the hour, I can focus on just one thing. (I think I can hold a focus for one hour. If not, I simply change to one-half hour.) When the other things pop into my mind (and they will!), I tell them to go away and come back when the hour is up.

What about you?

Do you have a pile of things you want to do? (Or things you must do?)
?Have you made your list?
Can you select one thing (only one, remember), and devote one hour to it?
Yes. Go do it.

Week 11 - 3/4 is enough

One change each week. This week: 3/4 is enough.

I'm writing about eating. What I say can be applied to a lot of other things. Use your imagination.

Bigger is better, or so they say.

We live in an age when more is better. We're told to buy the 64-ounce size, the giant size. We're told to biggie size our hamburger order, get the biggie fries. Things are called whoppers.

Even the elegant restaurants produce a plate that contains enough food for two meals.

All of this is a function of the food industry. It's clear they want us to eat more. The more we eat, the more we want to eat, and the more money they make. It's not complicated.

When I look down at my shoes it's obvious that I'm carrying a bit more weight than I need or want. Twenty pounds could go off, and I wouldn't miss it.

The diet industry fuels the flames.

The average bookstore has a huge inventory of "diet" books. There are lots of specialty diets out there, with the authors making all sorts of claims. Lots of these books get bought, and then go on a shelf at home. Some people "go on a diet" for a short while, and then go back to their old ways. So the book-sellers do pretty well. And the food industry doesn't lose much.

Some of the diets, perhaps most, are really just fads. There's a web site devoted to fad diets. They come and go. Most are worthless. Some are harmful. They make money for the inventors and authors. Do they make the world a better place?

Believe-it-or-not, some of the most expensive "weight-loss" companies are really part of the food industry. You buy your food from the weight-loss company. Huh?

What will I do? Smaller is better.

The secret for me is to take in less and be more active. The focus today is taking in less.

It makes no sense to "go on a diet" that involves totally avoiding carbs, or involves pigging out on carbs, or any other normal food.

My change for this week is to reduce my food intake to 3/4 of what it has been.

When I eat out, I take 1/4 of the food and set it aside. (I can take it home for lunch tomorrow.) At home, I take only 3/4 of what I used to take. The objective is to do this across-the-board, and not focus on specific food items that are "fattening."

Water is the big exception. With water, more is usually better.

I'm not a physician and have no special talent regarding nutrition, food, weight-loss, or anything else I've just talked about. I'm just telling you about one small change that I am making. I am not recommending that you do it. I think everyone should check with a doctor before making a significant change in eating.

Week 10 - Empty the head; write it down

One change each week. This week: Write it all down.

Sometimes I carry around a "to do" list in my head. Trust me; this is just about the worst thing to do.

The trouble is that the mind does not know how to sort out the list and tell me (honestly) which things are the most important and which things really need to get done right away. The unconscious mind has this list of things, and then it randomly sends them up to the conscious mind. As far as my brain can figure out, each item on the list is of equal value.

My brain fires out these random items from the list: check the movie schedule, write a thank-you to a customer, spend an hour on your tax return, pick up milk at the grocery. This brain thinks they are all equally important, equally worthy of my immediate attention.

What happens? While I'm doing taxes, the brain is talking to me about movies. In the middle of a movie the brain is reminding me about taxes.

Time management? No. Just a hodgepodge of "to do" items swirling in my brain all day long.

The solution is simple: Write them down. Do a brain dump. Clear the brain of all this clutter.

Here's how it works:

First:

Set aside half an hour. Use normal size paper or write with a computer.
Make a list of everything that's on your mind. Everything. Business, personal, spiritual, health, family, friends. Everything.
Write everything. The big things and the smallest things. Things for this week and things in the far future. The whole idea is to get these out of your brain and onto paper.
Don't bother to put them in logical order.
Don't bother to put them in order of importance.
Take a break.
Come back an hour later and spend a few minutes adding to the list.
Do not remove anything from the list.

If you've done it right, all the "to do" items in your head are now on the paper. You don't need to think about them any more. If something new pops into you head, add it to the list.

Second:

After each item on the list, write down the first action that needs to be taken. For example, if the item is "going to a movie," the next action will be "check movie listings." If the item is "plant a garden," the next action might be "buy seeds."
One or two words is enough.
Don't prepare a total action plan for each item.

Now when you are ready to plan your next day (or your next hour), everything is right there. You can pick some things based on "top priority" or based on "this will be fun."

This is what I'm doing this week, and intend to re-visit and update my list once a week.

Week 9 - Bye-bye time waster

One change each week. This week: Eliminate one time waster.

When I look carefully at how I spend my time, it is not difficult to identify a number of time-wasting activities.

I'm not talking about activities that someone might think are "non-productive" because they are not directly related to making more money or improving relationships or strengthening my body. I'm not talking about the hours I spend walking my dog (you can't take that away from me!), or sitting and thinking, or chatting with colleagues. Those things are fun, good for my spirit, and essential to my overall well-being.

The time-wasters that I want to get rid of are those things I do strictly out of habit and that I do over and over every day, and several times a day.

An example: I maintain a few web sites. They require frequent attention, which is OK. On some of the web sites I am running ads by Google. The Google people provide a frequently-updated report on how these ads are doing - number of impressions, clicks-throughs, dollars earned, and so on. All I have to do is go to a special web page and logon, and all that information is there.

My time-waster is checking the ad performance over and over all day long. It's really some sort of compulsion. The important information for me is really the trend rather than the change from one hour to the next.

So here's the change for this week: Check in on the Google ad performance one time each day, and no more.

Does that sound small and insignificant? Small, yes. Insignificant, no. It's more than a time saver. It also clears out my brain so I can think about other things and do other things.

What about you?

Is there something you are doing on a frequent basis that you could simply do less frequently?
Would you be better off spending some of that time doing something else (or doing nothing at all)?
Are you willing to make a small change?
OK. Go do it.

Week 8 - Vitamins, minerals, supplements

One change each week. This week: Resume taking my nutritional supplements.

Although I eat a pretty well-balanced diet, there is no doubt that the modern American food-chain is woefully deficient in vitamins, minerals, and stuff like Omega-3. Even if I go all the way to strictly organic, and make other changes in the regular food I eat, I'm convinced that I will not be getting the proper amounts of vitamins and minerals. Some, perhaps, yet not all the ones I want.

I've done a good deal of research to find out what the experts recommend for someone of my gender, age, and condition. When I say experts, I do not include the folks who are pushing some temporary fad or who are in the business of selling the products. Most of those folks have a financial incentive to get me to use a specific product, and I always suspect their "information" is not objective and accurate.

A lot of good information is out there. I look for web sites that are operated by reputable medical establishments, hospitals, and sometimes even the government.

I'm not going to tell you what my list of supplements is, because I don't want to appear to be recommending a specific list of items.

One strong bias I have is that the official recommended daily amounts for many vitamins and minerals are understated. That is, they are too low. Usually I take a significant amount more than the official recommendation. The main danger to this is that very high amounts of some of the items I take can be toxic. Therefore, I am careful to read up on any recommendations as to the upper limits, and anything that says "don't take more than ....."

Once I've done my research, then I make up my own mind. At the very minimum I take a one-a-day type multiple vitamin and mineral supplement. That covers the bare-minimum basics. (At this point, as I said above, I might take more than the recommended amount.) Then I look at what's recommended for men, men of my age, men with my particular needs. Obviously this will vary from one person to the next.

I keep my doctor informed of what I'm doing in case he sees something he thinks is a bad idea, or in case he has an idea to add to mine.

You have to make up your own mind about what is best for you. And you should be checking with your doctor on this. Above all, don't change your own intake of supplements based on what I'm doing.

What about you?

Do you think you are getting the proper amounts of vitamins and minerals?
Can you do the research to find out what is best for you?
Are you willing to spend some money on this?
Are you willing to take your supplements on a daily basis?

Week 7 - No news is good news

My change for this week is to stop reading, listening to, and watching "the news."

For a good part of my life I have been a news junkie. I am able to devour the CNN news that is repeated over and over every one-half hour, pour over the newspapers (either in print or online), catch the news at the top of the hour on radio, and so on.

A few years ago it became obvious that this was not the best thing in the world for me.

News seems to be bad news, simply by definition. There is the latest killing, either by war or by drive-by. There inevitably are natural disasters such as droughts, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes exploding. Politicians have come out with new reasons why we should mistrust the politicians of the opposite political party.

It really is endless.

It really is repetitive.

What I notice more than anything else is that I am being manipulated by the media: the newspapers, TV, radio, magazines. They are in business to make money, not in business to tell me what I want to know. In order to make money, they have to be sensational, they have to make every story a big story, they have to stir up controversy.

Who will watch a TV news show that tells us about honest and hardworking people who raise their children in harmonious homes? Who will buy a newspaper that tells us that a small group of Girl Scouts sold a lot of cookies?

My first reaction was to stop subscribing to newspapers and magazines.

Next was to get rid of the TV. Just moved it out of the living room and threw it away.

My next step: A total news blackout.

Knowing about all the latest political dirt, war casualties, murders, and hurricanes does not improve my life. Just the opposite. It is affirmatively harmful to me. It wears down my psyche and sucks some of the life out of my soul.

A small step, or a large step? It does not matter. It is a survival step, a cleansing step, a step toward a more peaceful world.

Week 6 - More intensity

In the movie Lost in Translation there is a great scene that I call the "more intensity scene."

Bill Murray plays the role of an American actor who is in Japan making a video commercial for some Japanese whiskey. After a few tries at filming the video, the video director leans in and yells (in Japanese, of course) at Murray for what seems like an eternity. Then Murray asks the translator what was said, and the translation is: "More Intensity."

And so it is with making changes in our behavior as we work on the path of personal development.

Sometimes what we really need is to take some positive behavior and simply apply that same behavior with more intensity.

For example:

If you're jogging a half mile each day, think about increasing that to 3/4 of a mile.
If you are meditating 15 minutes a day, consider increasing that to 20 minutes.
If you are calling five customers each day, raise that to six.

The point is to make a small yet noticeable increase in some positive activity. Just a little "more intensity."

For myself, I'm increasing my back exercises (essentially a series of stretching exercises) from two to five. This will not set the world on fire. It will, however, do some seriously good things for my back.

What about you?

What fruitful activities are you doing now?
Which one could use a small, yet significant increase?
Can you take that activity and do it with "more intensity"?

Week 5 - Time Shift

The idea of the weekly change is simple. Instead of totally re-making yourself all at once (probably an impossible task), just make one change each week. That's something you really can do.

The idea of the time shift also is simple. Check yourself out in terms of when (time of day, day of week, time of year) is the best time for you to be doing certain things. When are you more creative, more energetic, more interested in resting?

Then pick one thing that you do on a regular basis, decide what is the best time for you to be doing it, and shift to that time.

[See a bit more about this concept.]

My example: One of the things I do for a living is teach a class (called Contracts) at a law school. The class meets three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 8:00 a.m. Before teaching a class, I need to spend quite a bit of time re-reading the assigned materials, reading some supplementary materials, thinking about exactly what I'll be doing in class, and making some notes.

I used to do this the night before each class. I found that this was not the best time. I often felt rushed. If I came up with a new idea, I didn't have much time to think it through.

My time shift is simply to do my class preparation almost immediately after the previous class. The previous material is fresh in my mind. Once I've got my class preparation done, I have a couple days to think about it and make any revisions that are needed. I'm not rushed.

What about you? What task are you doing on a regular basis that you should shift to a different time?

Week 4 - Take the plunge

My change for this week is to go public with the "Personal Development 101" web site.

When I first decided to launch the "Personal Development 101" web site a few weeks ago, I had a plan.

The plan was to write up a number of short articles, and get the formatting of the site fixed up the way I wanted it - all before the actual launch.

So I spent a lot of time fooling around with the technical parts of getting the software tuned just right. The banner had to be the right color, and the words had to be in the right place. The left column needed to be a certain width - not too wide and not too narrow. Same with the right column. Then there was the correct font, and the font colors. More and more details. In addition, I was writing some material, deciding what to name the topics, and so on.

Each day I worked on this project there were several things that didn't seem just right, and so I would re-do them, refine them, and polish them.

But the site wasn't getting launched, was it?

Obviously I could have continued refining, continued to create a longer series of articles to be published. Just as obviously, as long I was doing that the web site would not be launched.

So my change for this week is to publish the web site. This means taking the small number of steps need to make it accessible to the public and the search engines.

In one sense this is quite an easy change. It is purely mechanical: Click the mouse, type a few words, click the mouse. Although it is a change that is mechanically easy, it is difficult to take the plunge.

As with all new ventures, there is no certainty about the outcome, the future is totally clouded, and more than a few things could go wrong.

That's why I call it "Take the plunge."

Sometimes there is no amount of planning, re-thinking, re-doing, revising, data-gathering, or preparation that can possibly be enough. You can always do more. More thinking, more analysis, more data-gathering, more, more, more.

At some point you just have to jump in. Take the plunge. Go for it.

How about you?

Is there something you are "almost ready" to do?
Can you tell yourself that there is no way to be certain about the future?
Take the plunge.

Week 3 - Heifer International

I've talked about developing your goals based on what your values are.

The idea is to start with the values, and then let those values tell you what your goals are.

Once you have the values, you can set the goals.

Once you set the goals, the next step is to take action. Yes, action.

Here's an example: For a long time I've thought it was shameful that some parts of the world (my part of the world) have lots of great food, and in other parts of the world people are unable to feed themselves. Obviously one of my values was that hungry people should have food.

I've thought about this a lot. Funny thing is that thinking about it doesn't get anywhere. It's just thinking. So I came up with a goal that fit that value: Share 5 percent of my business income, to help people feed themselves.

Now the goal was there. The goal needed to be connected to action. The action is simple: Every month I add up the previous month's gross income, multiply by 5 percent, and write a check for that amount to Heifer International. This organization provides the means (cows, pigs, tools, etc.) for people so they can provide for themselves, allowing them to become self-sufficient.

Here's the sequence:

Identify the value.
Set a goal that fits that value.
Take a concrete action toward that goal.

How about you?

Can you identify one of your values? Just one.
Can you set one goal that fits that value? Just one.
Can you take one concrete action toward that goal?

Week 2 - What to change

As you know I don't like the idea of trying to launch into a large list of resolutions or changes all at once. You're likely to be overwhelmed and discouraged, and that leads to failure.

At the same time it helps to have some idea in advance about what sorts of changes you'd like to make.

If you plan on making 52 weekly changes over the course of the year, I suppose you could just sit down and make a list of 52 items right now. But I say don't do that, because you don't know everything right now. You especially don't know what the future holds or what kinds of changes you will want to make a couple months from now.

For myself, I do know is that there are categories of my life that are important to me, and it is within these categories that I will want to make changes.

Health. Physical and mental. The focus here will be controlled by some basic facts: I have a touchy back; I'm a recovering alcoholic; I'm living with prostate cancer. I'll have plenty to work with here.
Spirituality. I used to believe in God. Then I became an atheist. Today I believe in God. I believe God is within every human being, every animal, every plant, and every rock. Spirituality for me is the process of renewing my conscious contact with God. The fact is I've been too busy for God lately, so there will be some changes here.
Business. This is complicated. I own my own business. I serve as an arbitrator. I'm teaching half-time at a law school. I know I'm spread a bit too thin in the work department, so changes are coming.
Myself. Here is the category for having more fun, going places, seeing great movies, ignoring the news and politics. Endless opportunities for change.
Family. I am blessed. My lovely wife Layne, an almost-teen-age daughter, two grown-up sons, two almost-20 stepchildren, an older brother, a younger sister. Opportunity abounds.

You have your own list of categories. Please don't just copy mine.

So, each week I'll look at these categories and pick one, and then decide on one change that I can make for one week. At the end of the week I can decide whether to keep it going, increase it, or drop it.

How about you?

Are there major categories in your life that are important to you?
Can you make a list of them?
Can you think of one thing from one category that you can change for one week?

52 Changes in 52 weeks

New year resolutions can be dangerous things because you can just be setting yourself up for failure.

Here's the formula for failure:

Make lots of resolutions. At least ten or more.
Make huge resolutions, the bigger the better. Example: Lose 20 pounds in 20 days.
Make resolutions that are vague, such as "getting in shape."
Make resolutions that can't be measured, such as "getting along better with my boss."
Make resolutions designed to benefit others rather than myself.
Make resolutions that "they" think are a good idea.
Work 100% on every resolution every day. (Help, I'm drowning.)

This year how about doing things differently? How about spreading out your resolutions over the entire year? One per week.

And they're not called "resolutions." They're called "changes." Personal development is about making changes.

Start out the year with the plan to make one change every week. If that's too many or too frequent, then you can make it one every two weeks. Some advisors say it should be one each month. This is a life-long thing, and it doesn't have to happen all at once. And it's your life-long thing, so you can do it at your own pace.

Here's my plan:

First week: I will do two repetitions of my back exercises every day. Not fancy, but it's something I need.

At the end of the first week I'll have these options:

It worked. Keep it going into the next week.
It worked, and I want to do more. For the next week increase it to four repetitions.
It didn't work, or it made me unhappy. I will stop doing it.

Second week: Make one more change. And so on.

How about you?

Can you make one small change every week?
Wouldn't it be an amazing thing to make 52 small changes over a one year period?

Ross Runkel, Post Office Box 1031, Salem, Oregon 97308-1031.
Phone 503-399-8028. Fax 503-566-8844. email Ross@LawMemo.Com

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