« Week 2 - What to change | Main | Complaining goes nowhere »
Values: Why have them?
Just about every self-help advisor is going to tell you that you should sit down and make a list of your goals. They also will tell you that you should make a list of your values.
What really is the point of identifying your values? Is it necessary? Is it helpful?
You could just trust me on this, but here are a few reasons:
Congruence with goals. Life is just a whole lot better if your goals line up with your values. In fact, the best goals are the ones that line up perfectly with your values.
For example, let's say one of your goals is to save up enough money for a down payment on a new SUV, and you're still a couple months away from meeting that goal. Then let's say one of your values is to be environmentally friendly. Right away, you can see that there is a conflict between the value and the goal. Your brain sees that conflict. Your heart feels that conflict. Every cell in your body is aware of the conflict. There are three likely results: (1) You are less likely to reach the goal. (2) Working toward the goal will not be filled with joy. (3) Once you attain the goal, you're not going to feel really good about it.
More attainable goals. The whole idea of having goals is that you will work toward them and eventually attain them. You want to actually reach the goals. (Having goals that are not capable of being reached is a bad idea.) If your brain and heart are aware that getting to the goal is inconsistent with your values, then neither your brain nor your heart is going to be working hard to get to the goal. The more your goals are inconsistent with your values, the less likely it is that your will reach your goals.
Heart and mind united. It is often the case that we use our brains to set our goals. We get out that piece of paper and carefully write down our goals, our objectives, and our time-lines. That's the work of our brains. Meanwhile, our hearts have values. If our brain's goals are not lined up with our heart's values, then the sparks start flying. We are human beings, and our hearts and minds were designed to work together, not to be pulling against each other.
Focus. A big reason to have goals is to increase your focus. Instead of spending time and energy on a whole lot of things that are not important, having goals helps ensure that your time and energy are devoted to your goals. If your goals don't match your values, then you will be constantly distracted away from the goals. Something in your subconscious will be aware of the goal-value conflict, and will undermine your efforts to reach your goals.
More joy. When you set a goal, you usually assume that there will be great joy when you finally attain that goal. That's exactly the way it should be. "Yippee, I reached my goal." However, if the goal doesn't match up with your underlying values, there won't be as much joy. Sure, you'll have a sense of satisfaction. But there will not be that big kick, that surge of happiness.
Prioritize your time. Goal-setting is helpful when it comes to deciding what to do with your time. Your time ought to be spent working toward your goals. When one of your goals is out-of-line with your values, there will be a tendency to allocate your time so that the goal doesn't get the time it needs. Again, your subconscious will find a way to undermine any goal that does not match your values.
Making decisions. How do you make a decision when there are two things you want to do, but you can do only one? For example, you want to attend a meeting where you can meet a new business customer and you want to be at an event honoring one of your employees for her civic work. This will be an easy decision if your values are clear, and if the priority of your values are clear.
If drumming up new business is a higher value than taking care of employees, then you'll go meet the new customer. If taking care of employees is a higher value than business-getting, then you'll go to the employee's event.
If you never thought through these values, or never put your values in priority order, this is a tough decision. If you worked through your values in advance, then this decision is easy to make.
Ross Runkel, Post Office Box 1031, Salem, Oregon
97308-1031.
Phone 503-399-8028. Fax 503-566-8844. email Ross@LawMemo.Com
